Less Talk, More Do » Funny http://www.chrisfinke.com Christopher Finke is a software engineer who builds high-traffic websites (like AOL Shopping and Mahalo.com) and develops browser add-ons (like ScribeFire, TwitterBar, FireFound, and Tapsure) to enhance the Web. Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:21:08 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Offline Mode http://www.chrisfinke.com/2011/05/24/offline-mode/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2011/05/24/offline-mode/#comments Wed, 25 May 2011 04:30:11 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/?p=2094 Last year, I went on a Caribbean cruise with my wife and her family. I had a great time, but the downside to seven days aboard a floating resort in sparkling blue water is that the Internet access is prohibitively expensive: during that week, I was completely offline for the first time since my family first signed up with AOL in 1997, and this made me realize that I rely on search engines to answer the questions that life raises far more than I suspected. I’m sure that, to my wife, “Offline Chris” seems much less knowledgable than “Online Chris.”

Presented below without comment is a list of searches I would have performed if I could have; I don’t think it will be turned into one of those Google commercials any time soon, but it’s a pretty concise summary of our trip. See if you can infer anything about our trip; post your guesses in the comments.

  • define:Kirschwasser
  • How many people on Carnival Valor
  • define:vichyssoise
  • How many people have tattoos?
  • Capital of Belize
  • Denver channel 4 anchor
  • How to get cork out of bottle
  • Anteater bite
  • Tetracycline
  • Treat infection
  • Capuchin monkey
  • 10 knots in mi/hr
  • BWI cayman
  • Honduras ca
  • iTunes hey baby
  • Satellite Internet speeds
  • Office webisodes
  • Jack Welch
  • iTunes Brand New Day
  • Convert KW to HP
]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2011/05/24/offline-mode/feed/ 1 College: Post-It Notes and Scotch http://www.chrisfinke.com/2010/07/28/college-post-it-notes-and-scotch/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2010/07/28/college-post-it-notes-and-scotch/#comments Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:23:28 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/2010/07/28/college-post-it-notes-and-scotch/ Post-Its and Scotch
Amazon may want to re-think their wording regarding Scotch‘s sponsorship of free two-day shipping for college students.

]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2010/07/28/college-post-it-notes-and-scotch/feed/ 1 My wife told me not to post this http://www.chrisfinke.com/2010/06/08/my-wife-told-me-not-to-post-this/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2010/06/08/my-wife-told-me-not-to-post-this/#comments Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:18:48 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/?p=1687 I made this nine years ago. I like to think that I have matured since then, but the fact that I am now posting it here indicates that I have not.

100% Juice for 100% Jews

“100% Juice for 100% Jews.”

]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2010/06/08/my-wife-told-me-not-to-post-this/feed/ 2 Wolfram Alpha http://www.chrisfinke.com/2009/05/16/wolfram-alpha-2/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2009/05/16/wolfram-alpha-2/#comments Sat, 16 May 2009 17:30:50 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/?p=1292 Wolfram|Alpha, the new computational knowledge engine, seems like it has a lot of potential. But for some reason, I’m not so sure about its mathematical abilities:

Loading screen shows: NaN%

For more information on Wolfram Alpha, here’s Mahalo’s Wolfram Alpha page:

]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2009/05/16/wolfram-alpha-2/feed/ 0 I took 5-Hour Energy, and I feel great! http://www.chrisfinke.com/2008/12/29/i-took-5-hour-energy-and-i-feel-great/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2008/12/29/i-took-5-hour-energy-and-i-feel-great/#comments Tue, 30 Dec 2008 03:49:24 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/?p=1058 Typing up a storm

For anyone who isn’t in the industry, this is what computer programming really looks like.

]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2008/12/29/i-took-5-hour-energy-and-i-feel-great/feed/ 1 Huckabee for Secretary of LOL http://www.chrisfinke.com/2008/02/24/huckabee-for-secretary-of-lol/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2008/02/24/huckabee-for-secretary-of-lol/#comments Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:21:46 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/2008/02/24/huckabee-for-secretary-of-lol/ I didn’t caucus for Huckabee, but you’ve got to love it when a politician can actually be funny, not awkward, on Saturday Night Live:

]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2008/02/24/huckabee-for-secretary-of-lol/feed/ 0 Maybe that’s where they got the idea http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/27/maybe-thats-where-they-got-the-idea/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/27/maybe-thats-where-they-got-the-idea/#comments Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:05:36 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/27/maybe-thats-where-they-got-the-idea/ Considering that the local Pizza Ranch caught fire earlier this year when their broiler malfunctioned, I found their latest advertising campaign (for the new Smokehouse Chicken Pizzas) amusing:

Something’s Smokin’ at the New Prague Pizza Ranch!

Smokin

]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/27/maybe-thats-where-they-got-the-idea/feed/ 0 At least it’s easy to remember… http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/25/at-least-its-easy-to-remember/ http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/25/at-least-its-easy-to-remember/#comments Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:35:38 +0000 Christopher Finke http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/25/at-least-its-easy-to-remember/ My wife just used the “Forgot my password” form on the MNCPA’s website. The automated response was, how you say, not very helpful:

Your username and password are….?

This is definitely a candidate for WorseThanFailure.

]]> http://www.chrisfinke.com/2007/09/25/at-least-its-easy-to-remember/feed/ 1